I haven’t been writing on here because I haven’t really wanted to. Not because I don’t want to share anything, it’s just that things sort of suck and who wants to hear all of that?
It is easy to have a positive head when shit is real. Like in and out of the hospital for surgeries, I mentioned before, was SO REAL. Like he was wide open, there were stitches, tubes… it was awful but it was very front and center in our lives and now I am finding it hard to focus. Who and what is front and center?
I am always a little ambivalent about sharing too much but I got a message recently that made me think differently. Someone said that they were looking at us to help guide them through their own similar mess and it hit me. This isn’t just about us. Anyway, things are tough.
Radiation is well on it’s way and it is taking a toll. He is tired and it is really hard to juggle this phase. After he recovered from surgery he was such a big help with our life. I dove into my work and now it is all kind of falling apart. He has to go to appointments alone because I have to stay with the kids, meaning I can’t work and everything is just messy. So I wanted to share that. Through the good and the bad, there lies a mess and for all of you going through something, just do the best you can do and be honest with yourselves about what you are capable of.