Posted by JD (yourmom206)

Categories Spaghetti Family Updates

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In all honesty…

I haven’t been writing on here because I haven’t really wanted to. Not because I don’t want to share anything, it’s just that things sort of suck and who wants to hear all of that?

It is easy to have a positive head when shit is real. Like in and out of the hospital for surgeries, I mentioned before, was SO REAL. Like he was wide open, there were stitches, tubes… it was awful but it was very front and center in our lives and now I am finding it hard to focus. Who and what is front and center?

I am always a little ambivalent about sharing too much but I got a message recently that made me think differently. Someone said that they were looking at us to help guide them through their own similar mess and it hit me. This isn’t just about us. Anyway, things are tough.

Radiation is well on it’s way and it is taking a toll. He is tired and it is really hard to juggle this phase. After he recovered from surgery he was such a big help with our life. I dove into my work and now it is all kind of falling apart. He has to go to appointments alone because I have to stay with the kids, meaning I can’t work and everything is just messy. So I wanted to share that. Through the good and the bad, there lies a mess and for all of you going through something, just do the best you can do and be honest with yourselves about what you are capable of.

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2 comments on “In all honesty…”

  1. CageyG

    Whew.
    I’m a big fan of the music from way back (AZ!) and I’ve been following along through your ordeal and after hearing the podcast and reading this I just wanted to pop in to say -hang in there. I know, you’ve probably heard that tired old adage too many fucking times in the last few months, but honestly it’s all there is some days. My mom, while she was here and during our time together, she had cancer longer than not and the last 2 years of her life took care of her full time. Some days were great, some days sucked ass and some days were just days. You just look at what you have to do next, what’s immediately in front of you, and you do it. Not next year, not next week, sometimes not even later today but just right fucking now. Most days that’s all you got to get you through. And that’s ok. Getting through is really the most amazing thing you can do sometimes.
    One other bit of (unasked for) advice…use everything you got. If someone says…’if you need anything just ask’…really, just ask. If it’s offered, take them up on it. Ask for help when you need it, and when it’s offered freely, accept it. There’s many things I learned about living with cancer, or any illness or injury really, but the one thing I’m always bowled over by again and again is that people really do want to help. It’s good for you and it makes them feel better too. There are always going to be haters and people that are gonna be bitches about it, but most people I think want to make that connection and help a sister out.
    So- again, hang in there. You have a pretty amazing family, and hell, at least it makes for great stories, right?
    All the luck and the love to you and your family-

    • JD (yourmom206)

      Thank you. You are so right. We are asked all the time where we will go, what we will do and if we think about it too long- our heads spin.
      Sorry about your Mum.

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